These days It was always a bad weather. Since spring is coming, it’s always a depressing and sloppy day. The sullen sky, the damp floor, and the dull air make everyone downhearted. The spring mizzle keeps falling as tears falling in my heart. I felt depressed, rage and dysthymic. There were lots of terrible things happening, which made me exhausted, both physically and mentally. The other night two students fought in the class when I was on duty, though there was nothing serious aftereffect because of disposal in time, the head teacher Mr Han thought it was all my fault. He blamed me for not taking good charge of the class. He even complained about me in front of the leaders of the school. Therefore, the leaders always kept an eye on me, trying to find my fault, and then accusing me of my careless teaching manner and unsatisfactory teaching result. What’s more, one afternoon Mr Han satirized me with sharp and vitriolic words. He said I was inability of being a good teacher. I felt very wronged. In fact, I have tried my best. Every day I work day and night, preparing for the lesson. I spend all of my free time to tutor the backward students, helping them to improve their levels and abilities. As a teacher, I am kind and friendly to all the students. When they are in blue mood, I try my best to comfort and encourage them, although it costs me a lot of personal time. I throw all my heart and soul, my time and my energy into my job, however, I get no recognition and acceptance from others. Even the naughty students often make mischief on me, since I was not a fearful teacher but with a good temper. Therefore, from the bottom of my heart, I hate everything here.

Things went worse when yesterday we had dinner together, Mr Zhao told us that they discussed in their administration meeting whether I would not on duty of evening study any more, since it’s Mr Han’s suggestion. They doubt about my ability. All the feeling mixed with grievance, sadness and wrath flooded into my heart. I couldn't hold back my tears in my eyes. I ran out of the room, with tears rolling along my cheeks. The colleagues called me, but I didn’t answer them. I came back to my room and cried in my bed to my content for more than two hours, like a child who has been maltreated. At that time, I even thought tomorrow I would no longer go to work. And then what will happen? The students will regret about their behaviour in my class, and the leaders will regret about their manners to me, and most of colleagues will pity me. Nobody will teach them in the short time, there will be lots of trouble for the leaders and the colleagues and the students. So many people will miss me so much. Even though I knew clearly that I would never behave like this because I have to work to offer my younger brother’s school charge, I felt less uncomfortable at thinking like this.

Therefore, this morning I kept silent and wasn’t eager to talk anything to anybody. Since this afternoon there is a speaking lesson contest, during the break at noon, I felt nervous and stayed in the office alone, preparing for the contest. Since Mr Huang told me that everyone would judge me by my performance, I really felt a great pressure. I don’t want anyone to look down upon me. However, the more nervous I was, the more difficult for me to think of a good idea. Suddenly my colleague Dalle came into the office. He asked me what’s wrong with me. This morning colleagues talked something about me and he must be guess something. At first I didn’t want to open my mouth. However, he kept asking, with a tone of care and consideration. Gradually I opened my inner heart and talked about my feeling and my thoughts during these days. He gave me a lot of examples, some are from his own experiences, trying to persuade me to keep a pleasurable mood, in favorable or adverse circumstances, because only our mood and health are belong to us, and attitudes matter most. Although I didn't agree with everything of his opinions about me, although he still didn't know what really happened to me, however, thanks to him, there was a ray of sunlight coming into my heart, making me warm and comfortable. He said we should try our best to adapt to the circumstances, since it’s hard to find a suitable job. He said we should do something to prove our ability when others discredit us. Don’t escape the reality, just go on and strive. ……These words infused me a special power, driving me stride ahead. Moved by his solicitude and sincerity, feeling that I was cared about by others, I felt I was not alone in this world. I threw the opinion “Everything is dark in this world” away. I was once again full of ardor and courage and confidence. After that, I focused all my attention on the preparation of the contest. Since there was a drive in my heart, the mind ran well and finally I could finish my job in time. I went to the platform and did performance in confidence. When I made the speech, I found some colleagues nodded their heads from time to time, even from the one who is famous for her caviling. After finishing my speech, there is a heat applause. My colleague Ms Xie said to me “ Very Good”. At that time, I felt my heart was filled with happy and joyful emotion full of achievement, gratitude and rejoicing. Those unhappy feeling and bad mood turned into mist and flew away in a sudden.

Life favors everybody and happiness is simple. Only a friendly smile, some encouraging words, some care expression from other’s eyes, the praise and encouragement from others , some little achievements through our effort can make our life happier and more beautiful.

31/03/2008